Cat burglar
Published 4:00 am Saturday, February 7, 2009
- Cat burglar
Residents of northeast Bend are on high alert for a cat burglar suspected of trespassing, possible illegal entry and petty theft in the Boulder Ridge subdivision.
Resident Rachelle Masin first noticed a problem last year, when a pair of her gardening gloves disappeared from her yard.
“One day, I was sitting outside and I was going to go garden, and I thought, ‘Where’s my gloves?’ And I thought, ‘Well, maybe I threw them away,’ because I’m always out there gardening, and maybe I wore through them.”
A couple of days later, on the communal mailbox, Masin spotted a poster with a photo of the accused thief and a picture of some gloves with, recalls Masin, “a little note on there that said, ‘Are these anyone’s gloves?’”
As a matter of fact, they were. They were hers. And they fit like a glove.
Masin’s neighbor, Tawna Fenske, 34, lives with the accused glove thief, Matt the Cat.
According to Fenske, Matt is a 2-year-old long-haired, orange cat who goes by a host of aliases: Matt, Matty, Matthew, Mitten Paws, Kitty Mittens, Pink Nose, Orange Guy, Mr. Ring-Tail, The Six-Fingered Man and His Royal Fluffiness.
According to Fenske, who made the poster that reunited Masin and her gardening gloves, His Royal Fluffiness’ nefarious activities were not limited to Masin’s yard.
Matt had whiskered away gloves — yes, in pairs — from other neighbors as well.
Fenske first noticed something strange afoot when she began finding stray gloves on the premises.
“It took us awhile to figure it out. At first, I started noticing gloves appearing around the yard and around the house,” she said.
At first, Fenske suspected her husband, Steve Buchholz, who “always leaves socks and gloves and things around, and I figured it was just him.”
But next came “a little kid’s dirt bike glove.” It was time to sound the alarm — the two have three cats and two dogs — but no kids.
That incident was followed by a pair of gardening gloves embroidered with flowers.
Her husband was exonerated when she found a tell-tail glove lodged in the cat door.
The jig was up on Matt. It was time for Fenske to face reality: Matt was a kleptomaniac cat.
As Steve Martin used to say, does anyone know where to get cat handcuffs?
Although he is not known to be armed, Matt is heavily pawed. And while he may fail a polygraph test, he would pass a polydactyl one: Polydactyl cats have extra toes on their paws; Fenske says Matt uses his much like human hands.
She’s seen Matt actually pet another of her cats, and he’s been known to put his paws on her face. Which makes it all the funnier to Fenske that her kitty is smitten with gloves.
After the poster, Matt seemed to curtail his glove-pinching activities.
“We thought that might be the end of it,” Fenske said. “And then the hand puppets started appearing.”
Yes, Matt the Cat fancies puppets as well.
“There was one day that I came out and found maybe six of them strewn up the driveway, like he was bringing them back and just went, ‘Ooh, look, a bird.’”
Don’t worry, birding enthusiasts: Matt wears a bell. “The gloves, on the other hand, don’t stand a chance,” Fenske said.
The puppets belonged to neighbor Masin, a teacher who runs Rachelle’s Schoolhouse. Its motto: “A positive place to play and learn.”
Imagine, reader, the shock on the little boys’ and girls’ faces when they discovered that several puppets had gone missing.
“I always have toys and balls and stuff outside, and I had these puppets,” Masin explained. “Just randomly, this cat was taking these puppets. Then I ended up putting them in the garage. I don’t believe I had the kitty door at that point. All I know is, a few were gone.”
One time, she looked out the window only to spy the creeping, peeping cat looking back.
“This cat’s staring at me, and he had one of my puppets in my mouth. He ran off, and I just chuckled. I thought, ‘That is really hysterical,’ like a cat getting mice. It’s just so weird.’”
In all, Matt made off with about 20 of the kittennapped puppets, which were always returned unharmed. Fortunately, Masin and other neighbors have had a good sense of humor about Matt, says Fenske, who still has a couple of unclaimed gloves.
Fenske is an aspiring humorous romance novelist works in public relations from home. All of her pets come from shelters, including The Six-Fingered Man.
According to Iams.com, being a polydactyl is considered a show fault in most breeds by most cat associations. Nevertheless, it had been a goal of Fenske’s to acquire an orange polydactyl for some time.
“I had always wanted an orange polydactyl cat,” she said. “My grandparents had one when I was a kid.”
Starting eight years ago, she made frequent calls to The Humane Society, and was eventually paired with an older black polydactyl cat, who died on her 32nd birthday.
After that, she swore she wouldn’t get another cat.
“And then I made the mistake of just (saying), ‘I’ll just check the Humane Society’s Web page,’ and ‘I’ll just check the Petfinder Web page’ to search all the Humane societies in the state.’ And there was a little orange polydactyl kitten” in Klamath Falls.
Fenske says the woman who runs that cat shelter, Friends of Pets of Klamath Basin, was particularly amused by the story of Matt glove-hunting, as polydactyl cats are often known for being good hunters.
After being adorned with a bell to warn off birds, Matt turned his eye to other kinds of trophies, says Fenske, even boosting socks from her mother’s drawer during a visit to her Salem home.
“That’s our best guess,” said Fenske. “He didn’t bring me anything for a while, and then the gloves started appearing. So I guess that’s his solution.”
Her husband is a pet lover, too, Fenske says, laughing.
“He has to be. I tease him all the time, ‘You know that if it’s a choice between you and the pets, you know who’s going?’ He’s good about it.”
In all her years of pet ownership, Fenske says she’s never encountered a cat with sticky fingers.
Fenske says Matt cut back on his furtive activities with the advent of winter, which is traditionally a slower time in criminal circles, according to the results of a Google search for “Does temperature affect crime?”
However, Matt did bring home a pair of gloves a few weeks ago, and Fenske and Buchholz are bracing themselves for spring.
“As the weather starts to warm, we’re sort of wondering what comes next,” she said.