Q: My elementary school-age son has a buddy in his class who isn’t a great influence. When they are together, they fool around, and I think it’s aggravating his teacher. I want to discourage this friendship. Should I? If so, how?

A: “I wouldn’t recommend discouraging the friendship just because the children are ‘horsing around’ during instructional time,” says Donna Guarton, a school psychologist in Long Island, N.Y.

It’s more constructive to teach the boys that there is a time for play and a time to be actively involved in learning.

Ask the teacher to meet with the boys and explain expectations regarding classroom behavior. The teacher also should reward the boys for demonstrating self-control.

If you merely discourage the friendship, you might fix the short-term problem, but what happens when the next unruly friendship forms?