Living Positive, Staying Strong

The first things you notice about Katy Yoder are her startlingly blue eyes and her quick bright smile. Behind those eyes and that smile resides a passionate fundraiser and organizer, loving wife and mother, accomplished equestrian, freelance writer, devoted daughter and sister, and loyal friend.

For the past year, in the toughest role of her life, Katy has become a breast cancer warrior. Diagnosed in July 2013, after briefly dismissing the transient lump in her right breast as simply due to hormonal changes, she bravely girded herself with a phenomenally positive attitude and the support of all those who love her, to take on an enemy with whom she was only too familiar.

Her father, Robert Muir Graves, lost his seven-year bout with cancer of the parotid gland in 2003. Katy often tapped into the memories of her dad and how heroic he was through his ordeal.

“He didn’t let the surgeries, the pain and body changes stop him from continuing to work,” she said. “He even kept teaching as a guest speaker at Harvard in golf course architecture. His cancer had affected his speech and his face looked like he’d had a stroke, but he kept on going anyway. With that kind of an example, I knew I could do it, too.”

Besides her father, Katy’s cousin had ovarian cancer and her uncle contracted pancreatic cancer. The combination of breast, pancreatic and ovarian cancer in one family qualified Katy for genetic testing to determine if her breast cancer had genetic origins. It did not and, as Katy said, that made her a breast cancer pioneer in her family.

Family and Horses

In addition to the courageous example of her father, Katy had a lifetime of strong family connections and positive life experiences to draw on for strength to face her opponent.

Growing up in Walnut Creek, Calif., on a family compound with nine cousins, two sets of aunts and uncles, grandparents, and a great-grandmother, Katy and her two sisters, Betsy and Victoria, and her parents experienced the love and support provided by that environment.

She had many wonderful opportunities as a young woman, including a summer internship during college for Sen. Samuel I. Hayakawa, a California Republican, in Washington, D.C. After graduating from California Polytechnic State University with a degree in journalism, she worked as the executive assistant to the then-retired Hayakawa when he served as a roving emissary in Asian affairs for Secretary of State George Schultz.

Following that she ended up managing a personnel office in Walnut Creek where she met and married her husband, Gary. The day they returned from their honeymoon in 1991, Gary was called to active duty with the Air Force reserves and sent to fly C-141 transport planes in and out of bases around the Iraqi war zone.

In 1993, with a desire to raise their then two-month-old daughter Amy in a smaller community, they left the Bay Area and moved to Sisters, where Amy would have easy access to nature. Katy’s parents fell in love with the Sisters area when her father designed the Big Meadow golf course at Black Butte Ranch, and they relocated at the same time as the Yoders.

Amy’s contact with the natural environment had a big impact on her as she is now a senior majoring in Geo-hydrology at Montana State University and will graduate in May. When Katy was diagnosed with cancer, Amy already had plans to study for a semester in Iceland and asked her parents if she should still go.

“I told her to do exactly what we had raised her to do,” Katy said. “Go out and live your life and then share it with us.”

Katy has received great support from her sister Victoria, who sold her house in California and moved to Sisters to help care for Katy. Victoria lost her husband to cancer two years ago, and it meant a great deal to Katy when she came north.

“Victoria chose to jump into the deep end with me, which means even more,” Katy said.

Having cancer has given Katy a heightened appreciation for her entire family, especially Gary.

“If our marriage was strong before my cancer, it is absolutely granite at this point,” she said. “Gary showed me beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is there for me.”

Katy’s heart belongs not only to Gary but also to her equine companions. Her love affair with horses is one of her earliest memories from those days on the compound.

“I felt complete freedom on the back of a horse. … My horse Topper was born when I was 5. I watched him being born, and we went on to win at the Grand Nationals in Oklahoma City when I was 16. He and I were a perfect team.”

She continued her equestrian pursuits as a member of the horse show team at Cal Poly and training horses for clients during college to help pay the bills. Her current Mustang, Willow, is a chestnut just like Topper had been. Although Katy hasn’t had much chance to ride since the cancer diagnosis, just knowing Willow is down in the barn is comforting.

“Even if all I do is go to the barn and give her a kiss on the nose,” she said.

Katy says she is getting stronger every day and is feeling ready to start riding more. That is amazing considering what she has experienced over the course of the last year.

‘The Avalanche Started’

When her inner voice finally yelled louder than her denial, Katy met with her OB/GYN who confirmed that the lump absolutely required a closer look. And as Katy put it, “the avalanche started right then.”

A mammogram, ultrasound and numerous biopsies confirmed that Katy did indeed have cancer in her right breast. The tumor was determined to be of a size and rate of growth that surgery could be delayed until after the Sisters Folk Festival, for which Katy is the development director, was over on Sept. 11, 2013. Upon hearing the diagnosis of cancer, accidentally from the radiologist who thought she already knew, Katy was speechless, shocked, in disbelief, and couldn’t fully absorb what it meant.

“From that moment on, the use of mascara was not an option,” she said. “I never knew when I was going to cry.”

Katy’s knee-jerk reaction upon hearing the cancer diagnosis was to remove both breasts and be done with it. Surgeons at Oregon Health & Science University in Portland convinced her that because the cancer appeared to be slow growing, they could do a protocol called a sentinel node biopsy in which they remove only a lymph node to see if the cancer has spread out from the breast. This was done rather than immediately beginning radiation therapy.

When the results came back positive for the lymph node, Katy elected to have a lumpectomy with breast reconstruction and a corresponding reduction of her left breast so they would “match.” All of those procedures were done during one trip to the operating room.

However, all did not go as planned.

The tumor was bigger than originally thought. The tissue sent to the lab showed that they had not gotten a clean margin, necessitating a repeat surgery one week later with recovery starting all over again. After the first surgery, Katy spent a night in the hospital, then in a hotel to be available for her follow-up appointment at OHSU. She then returned home to Sisters with three drains sticking out of her, needing to be protected during the car rides. She returned to Portland for the second surgery in which they opened her up, removed more tissue, and finally got clean margins. Another hospital stay followed, then the hotel, and then home to Sisters.

With not being able to work and her husband being away from his real estate job to care for her, the gas and hotel vouchers provided by Sara’s Project were a great help. Thanks to the many friends who were providing meals, the grocery vouchers were not needed. The nurse navigator provided by Sara’s Project was always available to answer any questions and relieve any of Katy’s concerns.

With her final appointment in Portland at the end of October 2013, Katy was cleared to begin chemotherapy in November at the St. Charles Cancer Center in Bend. Tests revealed it was a close call as to whether further treatment was necessary, but Katy elected to do chemo given that her cancer had been faster growing and larger than originally thought and because of the lymph node involvement. She received chemo once every three weeks for three months. Infusion was through a pic line inserted right to the tip of Katy’s heart so the chemo would circulate quickly and freely.

Another problem developed at this juncture when her arm swelled and blood clots clogged her three main arteries, necessitating Katy taking a blood thinner until the end of May 2014. Because the blood clots and scar tissue can lead to lymphedema in the arm, Katy wears a special pressure sleeve whenever she travels, exercises, flies in a plane, or does any physical exertion. She has two sleeves from LympheDIVAs. One is covered in henna tattoos and the other with designs by illustrator Ed Hardy — both definite fashion statements.

Prior to the cancer diagnosis, a hysterectomy had been ordered for Katy due to a benign tumor in her uterus. That operation had to wait while the cancer was addressed. After chemo was finished, the hysterectomy was finally performed and turned out to be a positive because the less estrogen in the body the better as far as breast cancer is concerned. Following that surgery, she was back to work in a week.

Adjusting to a New Life

Katy offered some very thoughtful advice from the trenches to friends, families and caretakers of cancer patients.

Never ask someone what the prognosis is, a question she still hears. Be a good listener, giving the patient someone with whom to talk to and cry with. Don’t share your friend’s or relative’s experience with cancer, good or bad. Keep things positive without being a Pollyanna.

Katy wanted to focus on health and healing so she appreciated people telling her she looked beautiful even when she knew she didn’t because they were telling her, “You’re not disgusting.”

Don’t make thoughtless comments about a patient’s appearance like, “What have you done to your hair?” Even now, as her once thick head of dark curly hair is growing back in, she is asked that question. Katy used a great flying analogy of what it’s like when you’re battling cancer,

“You are already operating on one engine. It takes only the tiniest mosquito flying by and you can’t take it.”

When sharing what really helped her, Katy said talking with women who are breast cancer survivors and hearing they are five, 10, 15 years out gave her hope.

“They were a manifestation of what I want,” she said.

Watching three seasons of “Downton Abbey” helped take her away from the stress and pain, as well as things that made her laugh.

“Gary and I have been really good about laughing at the absolute absurdity of this entire process and everything involved,” she said.

In jest, Katy refers to her “Frankenboobs.” She is still adjusting to the concept that her body is never going to be the same.

“When I look in the mirror, I am shocked with what I see. In my mind’s eye I still look the same as I always have.”

Post surgery and treatment, Katy is being proactive by being as healthy as possible. She admits that prior to her diagnosis, she had lost her balance for a while in her life and had forgotten how to have fun and take time to look inward.

“It was my choice,” she said. “I simply fell into a routine that didn’t have time for enjoyment. Cancer has been a real blessing. It’s been real hard but it woke me up. … I figure if this doesn’t motivate me to make positive changes in my life nothing will.”

Katy has reassessed her priorities, is using all the tools of Western medicine as well as complementary therapies, regardless of whether they are FDA approved, and is drawing great strength from the Science of Mind magazine.

She concurs with the belief that through your thoughts you can create a healthy body and healthy environment.

“What I focus on will be created so I’m focusing on perfect health,” she said.

Free of Worries

The medical community considers someone is in remission if they remain cancer-free for five years. Katy says that as far as she’s concerned, she is post cancer, as if she had a really bad cold and now it’s gone. She doesn’t worry because she believes if you worry about something, that attaches energy to it.

Brisk 30-minute walks at least five times a week, hiking in beautiful places, kayaking, and playing golf now fill Katy’s leisure time. A healthy diet including cancer-preventing cruciferous vegetables, and limiting her intake of sugar, which stimulates cancer cells, are all part of Katy’s regimen for staying cancer-free.

Katy is fully back in the saddle at her job with the Sisters Folk Festival and is extremely thankful for all the support she has received.

“I will never forget how I was treated during my cancer journey,” she said. “My co-workers and the board did everything they could to support me and reassure me that my job was safe when I recovered. I’ll always be grateful for that.”

Folk Festival board president Jack McGowan stressed the feeling of family within the organization and how everyone wanted to do all they could to support Katy.

“We have all been amazed at Katy’s stoicism in light of the challenges she faced,” he said. “She had an undying emotional commitment to the Folk Festival, even on her most challenging days. We love her so much and I say that for all the staff, board, volunteers, and entire community of Sisters. She’s an amazing lady and the personification of leading with her heart.”

To help with medical expenses, the community of Sisters threw a fundraising event for Katy with silent and live auctions and a dinner. The Belfry, where it was held, was wall-to-wall people, a testament to her place in the community.

“Cancer is a very effective teacher. My life is fuller and more meaningful than ever before. … I’m grateful to Gary, my family, and dear friends who have made this journey such a blessing.”

With a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye, Katy makes a point not to dwell on the past year. Instead, she looks ahead to her plans for the future.

“Stay healthy, do meaningful work, and have fun!”