Every government body needs the occasional diversion to break up the tedium of real work, and for the Bend City Council recently that diversion has been proclamations. Councilor John Hummel wants to streamline the process, arguing that the consideration of proclamations at council meetings consumes too much time, which volunteer councilors don’t have enough of anyway. Hummel and his colleagues will discuss the matter at the April 3 Committee of the Whole meeting.

You can’t blame Hummel for his frustration, but, as we’ve said before, proclamations should continue to be considered at council meetings. They really don’t demand that much time, and, besides, they’re part of the public-service package councilors chose to accept when they ran for office.

That said, Hummel ought to have some recourse. We suggest that he propose a proclamation of his own, perhaps something like this:

WHEREAS most proclamations that come before City Council express sentiments almost all sentient beings share; and

WHEREAS as evidence of the previous WHEREAS we offer the following proclamations, which have come before Council in the recent past: “Week of the Child,” “Drug Prevention Awareness Week,” “Fire Prevention Week” and “Physical Therapy Month;” and

WHEREAS, because saying WHEREAS is fun, because redundancy is the soul of the proclamation, and because every proclamation must have, at the very least, three WHEREASES, it should be noted that everyone already thinks children should be treated well, the abuse of drugs is a no-no, uncontrolled fires are to be prevented when possible, and physical therapy can be quite useful for the sick, not to mention lucrative for therapists;

NOW, THEREFORE, the Bend City Council does proclaim:

That the next 100 years be designated “Pointless Proclamation Reduction Century,” during which groups and councilors should ask of every potential proclamation, “Does this thing really have a point?”

Hopefully, this proclamation will make a difference. And if it doesn’t, Hummel ought to consider proposing a follow-up proclamation. This one would urge the sun to keep rising in the east and setting in the west.