The first half of the 20th century was blessed by the erudite, irascible editorial writer of the Baltimore Sun, Henry Louis Mencken. Authority on classical music and author of the scholarly “The American Language,” Mencken suspected every politician of being an egotistical nitwit. He was rarely disappointed. One of the most influential writers of his era, his optimistic cynicism and biting humor helped his generation spot buffoonery, political and social, in all its myriad disguises. It is my hope that this submission will encourage The Bulletin to live up to Mencken’s high standards of critical thinking and entertaining writing.

I have been an enthusiastic fan of The Bulletin. Such a local paper that actually focuses on local and state issues belongs on the endangered species list. Any such paper that remains unbiased amidst the nauseatingly one-sided offerings of the corporate, big-dollar media should be regarded as a local treasure. So it is with regret that I have been moved to a lower opinion. The recent coverage of the visits of presidential candidates was the work of sycophants (servile flatterer, fawning parasite, for those who do not recognize this word).

The proper work of a newspaper is to elevate its readers to a better understanding of the world they inhabit. Elevating mediocre politicians, knee-deep in the hogwash of their own bragging, to rock star status can hardly be called a public service. By definition, a reporter should be cynical and ever on the look-out for baloney. If I ran a newspaper, I would ensure that my reporters were well acquainted with H.L. Mencken as an inoculation against sycophancy.

Some of my favorite Menckenisms:

“A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.”

An epitaph for President Coolidge: “He had no ideas and was not a nuisance.”

“Failed presidential candidates should be quietly hanged.”

“All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.”

The Bulletin might consider some facts before issuing its next fawning report on the doings of the political star of the moment. If you are a Republican, you must court the favor of imbeciles who deny the dinosaurs ever happened. If you are a Democrat, much of your base believes the current president orchestrated 9/11. If you are either, you must belly crawl to gather funding from interest groups who certainly intend to get something for their money. In such an environment, is it any wonder that a person of real talent is rare?

I often wonder what Mencken might say about:

Camelot — John Kennedy was an engaging, humorous president, elected because he looked better on television than Nixon (who would not?). His short tenure was marred by the Bay of Pigs, whose failure left Cubans suffering under communism for another 50 years. His visit to Paris with his charming wife convinced Khrushchev he was dealing with a playboy. Khrushchev proceeded to erect the Berlin Wall, half-expecting that the West would tear it down. Emboldened by the lack of response, Khrushchev filled Cuba with missiles, and the world teetered on the brink of nuclear abyss. In that crisis, Kennedy showed courage and good judgment. Tragically assassinated at an early age.

Robert Kennedy — appointed attorney general with no credentials in the most blatant case of nepotism in American history, he was catapulted into presidential candidacy by his brother’s assassination. Tragically assassinated at an early age.

Ronald Reagan — the greatest salesman who ever became president. A couple of his oversimplistic views turned out to be somewhat correct. Go figure! Showed courage standing up to the USSR. Tragically lived to a ripe old age.

Bill Clinton — the number of close associates that either went to jail or committed suicide will be his legacy, along with his imaginative definition of “sex.” Showed courage standing up to Hillary.

George W. Bush — a rerun of Reagan with zero salesmanship skills. Faith-based initiative to roll the dice in the Middle East will be his legacy, for better or worse. Should have stayed in baseball.

Mencken very often used hyperbole (an obvious and intentional exaggeration not intended to be taken literally) to make a point, often humorously. This use of this wonderful tool has nearly been driven out of existence by: a) a population so ignorant as to be unable to recognize hyperbole and, b) spin-doctors and biased media that offer up and defend such exaggerations as fact. I suggest that newspaper editorialists and writers not abandon ship, but continue to use hyperbole as well as a healthy dose of cynicism and apply both generously to all politicians, regardless of species.