The legend is real. The 2009 Nissan GT-R, the car known to many as the Nissan Skyline in Japan, can run as fast as the fastest Porsche. It handles as well as the most agile Lamborghini. It does all of those things at a relative fraction of the cost of its putative betters. It is a performance car supreme.

And it is frustration of the most excruciating sort.

The only thing that came close to my time in the GT-R Premium edition was my last date with Gloria. We were Catholic high school students in New Orleans. To say I had a thing for her is to put it mildly. In moments of grand self-delusion, I thought she had the same feelings for me. At a school dance, Gloria suggested we step outside, to talk about “something important.” I was aching with anticipation, primed to say “yes” to her unasked question. And then she spoke: “I’m going to the convent.”

That feeling of disappointment came back to me sitting in the Nissan GT-R. There was so much potential — 480 horsepower available for the asking, 430 foot-pounds of torque and an all-wheel-drive system with rear-wheel-drive bias, the way all-wheel drive should be in a premium sports car.

Everything about the GT-R spoke to power and speed. The Nissan GT-R can move from 0 to 60 mph in 3.5 seconds. It can outpace the super-fast Porsche 911/Type 997. It can outrun the Corvette Z06.

What an abject waste! Where could I exploit that power? Where could I enjoy the thrill of that speed?

The GT-R is a capable performer on the racetrack, where many of my peers in automotive journalism experienced its considerable prowess. But I had the car for only a few days — in the middle of a workweek at that. There was no time to go to a track. How often could a person rooted in the real world go to a track anyway?

Still, I found a few abandoned strips and had a bit of fun. What a splendid driving machine! But the experience reminds you of being told your date is going to the convent. It was as good as it gets … with so much good left un-gotten.

And there was this: If you’ve ever been to traffic court, you know the feeling. Something about it takes the joy out of driving a car such as the Nissan GT-R. The judicial system renders the car a utilitarian thing, turns its hyperbolic road performance into little more than a cipher.

These cars are nice to play with on racetracks. But there’s a bit of the last dance about them — for most of us, little chance of ever developing a meaningful relationship.

The bottom line

Complaint: The Nissan GT-R is a situation piece. If you are situated well with cash and time, it is a wonderful toy. If you lack one of those things, the car makes no sense. Ride, acceleration and handling: Superior in all three categories. It is the fastest car most of us will ever have a chance to drive. It’s an easily addictive ride. Head-turning quotient: Exterior styling is ugly. But the interior is attractive, high-tech, a pleasant mixture of leather and electronic gadgetry. Capacities: There are comfortable seats for driver and front passenger. The two rear seats offer inadequate space for most adults. Luggage space is 9 cubic feet. Fuel capacity is 19.5 gallons of recommended premium unleaded gasoline. It makes sense, in this case, to follow the factory’s fuel recommendation. Safety: Standard equipment includes front and rear ventilated disc brakes with antilock assistance; electronic brake force distribution; electronic stability and traction control, rigid body construction. Purse-strings note: This is a high-demand, limited edition car. Expect to pay a substantial premium even in the currently troubled economic environment. Those who have the money and time to play with it will enjoy. For the rest of us … stay tuned.

’09 Nissan GT-R Premium

Base price: $71,900

As tested: $72,900

Type: All-wheel-drive, 2+2 seating “super-car” coupe

Engine: 3.8-liter, 24-valve V-6 with a six-speed rear transmission

Mileage: 15 mpg city, 20 mpg highway