Performance with a clean conscience

Published 4:00 am Sunday, February 19, 2012

Rich boys get the best toys.

Had I known that as I stumbled through North Texas State in the 1970s — still on my ambitious six-year degree plan — I might have signed up for Wealth 101.

Instead, I opted for words — and now I drive a Ford.

Not that I’m complaining. But I fit really well in Ferraris and Porsches and Audis, and I could happily own a small garage of high-end haulers that make little sense in the dour, doomsday 21st century.

We could call it Toys 4 Box or something equally cute that would appeal to my new friends with yachts, personal assistants and multiple SEC violations.

I would probably make space there for the 2012 Porsche Panamera S Hybrid, a six-figure vehicle that shares about as much in common with a Prius as I do with the mildly possessed high priest of football, Tom Brady.

They — and we — function similarly, and that’s about it.

Most of you know the controversial Panamera, the large four-door sedan that is Porsche’s second-best selling vehicle and easily its most polarizing.

The dark metallic-blue Panamera I had recently still looked pathologically disproportionate — as if someone had left it in a wind tunnel too long and everything got shoved back over its rear wheels.

Wide and relatively low, the Panamera featured a long, prominent hood and curving top that kind of, sort of resembled a 911 coupe.

Built on a platform shared with the Cayenne SUV, it was fitted with huge doors, a long, ungainly wheelbase and a rounded hatchback — a combination that never quite evoked the muscular 911 for me.

At least my Panamera rolled on meaty 25 5/45 tires mounted on 19-inch 911-style alloy wheels.

The real attractions beckon beneath the hood and on the other side of those big slab-sided doors.

As billed, the Panamera Hybrid couples a supercharged 3-liter V-6 borrowed from cousin Audi with a 47-horsepower electric motor.

The result is a wickedly quick two-ton lump with 333 horsepower and 428 pound-feet of torque that sips less fuel than a V-6 Camry.

The pudgy 4,400-pound Panamera is rated at 22 miles per gallon in the city and 30 mpg on the highway.

Even better, the whispering, cross-dressing sedan cuts and scrambles like a real Porsche, zipping to 60 in a solid 5.7 seconds.

Like most hybrids, the Panamera relies on the instant torque of its electric motor to get moving. Mine also had an automatic stop/start system that turned the V-6 off at red lights, restarting it instantly when more power was summoned.

Porsche says the Panamera can cruise silently up to 50 mph on the electric motor alone.

I was never able to coax more than 10 or 15 mph out of the motor before the audacious Audi engine sprung to life. But I also drove the car exclusively in “sport” mode, mostly to compensate for the fact that I’m short.

Ignore all the technology. Punch the Panamera, and it leaps away from stops with enough vigor to push you hard into the seat, snapping off satisfying, Euro-style 6,000-rpm shifts with its eight-speed automatic.

Though certainly not as crisp in corners as a 911, the Panamera lives up to its Porsche crest, attacking curves with surprising glee.

Lean is minimal in “sport” mode, and the car maintains its enormous composure even drifting through high-speed corners.

Like the Audi A7, the Panamera provides seating for just four in its commodious cabin, limited by an extravagant console that extends from the dashboard to the back seats.

But the gray leather interior was still pleasant — sort of like drifting along in a rain cloud.

Nicely finished door panels with leather tops and centers complemented gray leather seats with supportive bolsters and perforated centers.

So who will buy the Panamera Hybrid, a car that costs $20,000 more than an entry-level V-6 Panamera? I would guess stockbrokers in San Francisco or dizzy, driving-while-blond entertainment types in L.A. and maybe conflicted corporate titans in Denver.

None of which matters to most of us. Here is what’s important: The Panamera is the second serious high-performance hybrid in the luxury segment, joining the more affordable Infiniti M Hybrid.

Both are really good sparkers and fun drivers. And since hybrids will likely be the main alternative powertrain in the near future, it’s kind of reassuring that they now run the gamut from deadly dull to inspired.

2012 Porsche Panamera Hybrid

Base price: $95,00

As tested: $108,225

Type: Rear-wheel-drive, four-passenger, full-size hatchback sedan

Engine: Supercharged 3-liter V-6 with 333 horsepower and 325 pound-feet of torque, plus an electric motor with 47 horsepower and 221 pound-feet of torque

Mileage: 22 mpg city, 30 mpg highway