Katey James gets scared of monsters sometimes, especially at night. But the nearly 5-year-old has a secret weapon to help combat her worries: her brother. When Katey gets nervous, she turns to Casey, 8, who sleeps in the bed across from her. He told Katey that monsters don’t like him because he killed the monster queen. He is Katey’s monster protector.

This makes Katey feel better and is one of the reasons she likes sharing a room with her brother.

“I like it because then I don’t get scared,” Katey said.

Casey also enjoys the arrangement.

“I like it,” he said. “I get to have company.”

While Casey and Katey will eventually separate, for now sharing a room works for the whole family.

“It’s been nice. I think it’s been neat to watch them relate together,” said the siblings’ mother, Amy James, of Bend. “The best thing is just their relationship, which is really unique and they love each other.”

Children sharing rooms is “absolutely” a trend, according to Lynne Griffin, a graduate-level family studies teacher and author of “Negotiation Generation: Take Back Your Parental Authority Without Punishment.”

Some families are making the move because the economy is forcing them to downsize, while others are making the choice for philosophical reasons, according to Griffin. She believes the arrangement can offer some significant benefits for kids, while also offering up a few challenges for parents.

Benefits

A few generations ago, family sizes were much bigger and homes were smaller. This meant most siblings shared a bedroom. But at some point in the past few decades, more children began to have their own rooms. Now, it is often the expectation.

The notion that each child ought to have his or her own room is not just an American idea; a report from UNICEF, the Innocenti Report Card, which measures child wellbeing, said more than 90 percent of youths living in Western and Northern European countries had their own bedroom.

Amy James says Katey and Casey had separate rooms at first. That was the default setup — it was the arrangement she had grown up with and, especially since she had a boy and a girl, it seemed to make sense. “Why make them share?” James said.

But about three years ago, she decided to move them into the same room so she could turn the other bedroom into a playroom, with the hope of corralling more of the toy mess. They haven’t looked back since. Now James is expecting a third child, who will occupy the old playroom. Eventually, she says, the baby will share with either Casey or Katey, depending on whether it is a boy or girl.

Griffin believes sharing bedrooms will lead to kids learning more about cooperation, negotiation, getting along and learning how to share.

Sharing a room can lead to a deep bond. “They are creating a relationship that is theirs and theirs alone,” said Griffin.

Some children will benefit particularly from sharing a room. Griffin says children who have anxiety issues or who have physical sensory issues and like someone to curl up next to “will actually feel more at ease sharing a space” than having a room of their own.

Challenges

While rooming together may create a bond, Griffin says it also undoubtedly raises more sibling issues. Children will likely have conflict over space, sharing and simply from being around each other so much. But Griffin doesn’t see this necessarily as a bad thing.

Sometimes the first time people share a room is when they head off to college. Griffin says this means teens are having to learn how to share a room “with no guidance, and it’s a stranger.” Griffin thinks it makes more sense for kids to learn to share a living space while living at home, when parents can help with conflicts.

She says children who are opposites temperamentally may experience more conflict.

April Masini, a national relationship advice expert with www.AskApril.com, says sharing a room can be difficult for siblings who have different maturity levels — one who likes to study while the other offers up distractions. She also cautions against children of opposite genders sharing rooms once they reach puberty. She says teenage years are also difficult. “There will be conflicts over space, shared (stolen) clothes, lights out, messy vs. neat, etc.,” she said via email. “However — conflict isn’t a bad thing.” She thinks it can help teach conflict resolution. While arguments can be hard on kids, Masini says conflict can be even harder on parents “who feel guilty they cannot afford another bedroom.” She suggests parents let go of the guilt because that is simply a fact of life.

Masini believes the experience can help prepare kids for the future and dealing with all sorts of complicated relationships. “The more experience kids have making compromises and sharing, the better equipped they are in later life for the twists and turns relationship and family lives take,” said Masini.

The biggest challenges the James family encountered has been related to bedtime. Amy James says Casey and Katey used to stay up late playing together. Finally, they had to stagger the kids’ bedtimes to prevent that. Now Katey is asleep by the time Casey goes to bed.

Nurturing space

Bedtime was also one of the biggest challenges for Kristen Staley’s sons once they started sharing a room. The Bend mom has three sons, Trenton, 7, Colton, 5, and Dustin, 2. The two oldest began sharing to make room for a new baby. Staley was nervous about the move, and was especially concerned it would turn bedtime into “party time.” That did happen, but Staley and her husband, Eric, learned to stagger the boys’ bedtimes or would let one sleep in their bed until he was asleep and then would move him to his own bed.

Staley says she tries to make sure Trenton and Colton have some time to themselves, whether it’s a few minutes after school or a break during the day.

Staley thinks sharing a room “makes my kids feel safer going to bed.” For the most part she thinks the arrangement works, except when they get into each other’s things. “They get along really well and play really well, but they can only handle so much,” Staley said.

Now they are considering moving all three boys into the same room as the brothers say this would be fun and it would open up room for a home office space. “Right now, they want him (Dustin) to be in there,” said Staley.

She thinks sharing a room can be nice. “It’s a comforting, nurturing thing to share space with someone else.”

Considerations

Some siblings are better suited to share a space than others. Griffin suggests parents think about their children’s temperaments. Is one a night owl and the other a morning person? Is one neat and one messy? Also consider the kids’ communication styles. Is one outgoing and social, the other introverted and quiet?

These differences can make sharing a space more difficult, although not impossible.

Griffin suggests parents help children create their own private spaces within a room — a music corner or an art section. The children may also share a common area, such as a reading space.

“When children understand ground rules, it is more effective,” said Griffin.

The age of the children involved can also make a difference. Griffin says the younger or older the child the more challenging sharing can be — in other words, this can be hardest for toddlers and teenagers. When kids are young, they don’t have the language skills to be able to say what they want, says Griffin. Also infants can be on a difficult sleep schedule that can make sharing hard, although it “still can be done.”

Griffin calls elementary school age the “sweet spot” for sharing rooms, as kids have self-control and can regulate emotions. Once children hit the tween and then teen years, they often crave privacy. Griffin says, however, that parents can always try to create a private space for a teen somewhere in the house; it doesn’t have to be a bedroom.

Sharing a room

Aspects to consider when children share a room. None of these are deal-breakers, but may be factors that need to be mitigated.

• Temperaments — Outgoing vs. introverted?

• Schedule — Night owl vs. morning person? Does one child have many night awakenings that may disrupt the other child? What about nap times?

• Ages — Teenage years can be the trickiest, as this is often when children want the most privacy and autonomy. Elementary school-age children may be best suited for room-sharing.