Whether you’re personalizing a beautiful wedding gift of bath towels, pillowcases, table linens or other items, or simply adding a monogram to a shirt pocket or cuff, there are some basic guidelines to follow for selecting letters and their sequence.

For purposes of these examples, let’s assume Mary Lou Simms is marrying Trebor Adam Jones, and she is taking his last name as her married name.

Conventional wisdom

A classic monogram consists of three letters. If your item is a bridal gift, those initials consist of the bride’s first name, her maiden name and her new last name: MSJ. The letters in the monogram can be all the same height (1), or the married initial can be placed in the center and enlarged (2).

Another traditional style is to use the bride’s first initial, the husband’s first initial and the married last initial all the same size.

If you’re monogramming something with only one initial, it should be the couple’s last name, assuming it’s singular; in this case the monogram would be a simple J.

It’s also acceptable to combine the bride’s first initial, husband’s first initial and the married last name in a pattern, centering the last initial above or below the other two (3).

Not that simple

There are nuances to everything, and in today’s world they can create some interesting situations. What if the bride is keeping her current last name or hyphenating it? Or, if it’s a second marriage, or not a marriage at all, but a partnership? What about same-sex marriages?

If the bride is keeping her last name, the easiest way to handle it is to stitch only the bride’s initials on a shower gift: MLS.

Or, blend the couple’s initials into a joint monogram. Combine each spouse’s last name initial with a graphic motif of some sort, such as a dot, flower or square (4).

When hyphenation comes into play, things become even more fun. If there’s going to be a hyphenated last name, use each spouse’s first name initial around the hyphenated last name initials (5). Vary the letter size for emphasis.

If the bride has been previously married, use her first name initial combined with the maiden name initial and new last name initial to create a new monogram. Don’t use the first married name initial.

As if it couldn’t get more intriguing, what if there’s punctuation as part of the name, such as D’Angelo or O’Reilly? In those instances, it’s best to use a single letter — in this case D or O.

And how about McDonald or McDougal? Again, easiest to use a single letter: M.

Single letters

If you’re not making a wedding or bridal gift, things are much easier when it comes to monogramming etiquette.

Simply use the person’s initials as is. The letters can be of equal size, or you can choose to emphasize the last name, making its letter larger than the first and last initials surrounding it.

Monograms for men, such as on cuffs, on ties or above a pocket, are typically just the initials placed in order and all the same size. Or, make the surname initial larger and put it in the center for emphasis.

General principles

If the monogram initials end up spelling something undesirable, never fear. Changing the sequence or size of one of the letters might solve that problem. For example, Bonnie Ann Douglas’ monogram could spell out BAD, or that connotation could be avoided by making the D larger and placing it in the middle of the other two letters, or even above it.

If you’re a sewer, you can add lettering either by hand or on your sewing machine. If you’re not handy in that regard, there are companies that will do it for you, some with the original item purchase, others that offer embroidery services.

There are lots of typefaces to choose from, and depending on the project, you can create a formal mood or a funky one by your choice of lettering style. Keep in mind that elaborate or flowery type faces are more difficult to read, especially when letters are combined, so it’s best to save those for a single-letter moniker.

When in doubt about adding a monogram to a wedding gift, it’s best to ask the couple involved what their preference might be for letter sequencing and style. Better that, than ripping out stitches later.

— Reporter: gwizdesigns@aol.com