Flirting with practicality

Published 12:00 am Sunday, July 12, 2015

Before there was an Oldsmobile Toronado, Cadillac Eldorado, Buick Riviera or Continental Mark II, there was the 1952 Mercedes-Benz 300 S Coupe, the first in a series of full-size grand touring coupes meant to add a dash of spice to Mercedes-Benz’s top-of-the-line model range. If the sedans were built for heads of state, the coupes were built for their significant others. But no matter how popular coupes became — and the mid-1970s and 1980s were their heyday in the U.S. — they have since become automotive unicorns: infrequently bought and rarely seen.

That’s why the 2016 Mercedes-Benz S-Class Coupe is so welcome. It acknowledges practicality — after all it does have a 10.36 cubic-foot trunk — but doesn’t live by it. How refreshing in an era when the letters S, U and V seem to be the only answer to most consumers’ transportation needs.

There are three versions of the S-Class Coupe, starting with the all-wheel-drive S550 4MATIC. Powered by a 4.7-liter twin turbocharged V-8 rated at 449 horsepower and 516 pound-feet of torque, this Coupe whisks you from the stoplight to 60 mph in 4.5 seconds for a mere $119,900, plus $925 destination charge and options. Are you truly in a hurry? Then you’ll want the all-wheel-drive S63 AMG 4MATIC for a bit more, $160,900. You’ll reach 60 mph a half-second quicker, thanks to a 5.5-liter twin turbocharged V-8 producing 577 horsepower and 664 pound-feet of torque. But for some, only a V-12 will do. That’s why the S65 AMG exists. For $230,900, you get 621 horsepower and 738 pound-feet of torque and races to 60 mph in 4 seconds, slightly slower than the less-expensive S63.

Of course, getting a car to go fast is easy; making it desirable is more difficult.

That explains this car’s sublime styling, with sensuous curves offset by crisp character lines and capped by a stunning grille flanked by LED headlamps accented with 47 Swarovski crystals. It’s fetching allure needs no explanation.

The S550 Coupe’s exceptional nature continues inside, where a wraparound instrument panel is anchored by two enormous thin-film-transistor flat screens; one for the instrument cluster, the other for infotainment and climate controls. The high-tech touches are offset by an interior awash in leather; ordering the “designo” option adds diamond quilted leather. A large panoramic glass roof is above you, with optional “Magic Sky Control” to control its opacity. However, it doesn’t open.

Being a grand touring coupe, accommodations are grand for those in front; less so in the rear. But with some accommodation from front-seat passengers, there is enough space in the back for short trips.

No matter where you sit, you’ll find there’s plenty here to indulge you, from climate-controlled seats that massage, to aromatherapy and seven ambient lighting settings that set the right mood. And did I mention that this car has heated armrests in addition to a heated steering wheel? Finally, a Bermester audio system adds to the entertainment generated in the car’s engine compartment.

It goes without saying that this car’s true amusement comes from its twin-turbocharged V-8’s smooth, seamless, effortless flow of power. This Autobahn athlete makes driving effortless, delivering lots or torque while tackling corners like a humble servant: no muss, fuss or bother. Fling this 2-ton, 198-inch long coupe through a bending, twisting road and you’ll be suitably rewarded. And since it’s a Mercedes-Benz, its laundry list of driver assistance technology options with odd names will ensure your safety and security.

So let others buy tarted-up, overpriced SUVs that look little different from their neighbor’s plebian off-roader. Your ride is truly special; a true treat for a life well-lived, and a testament to your taste for the rare and exotic.

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