Gardening tools and plants on land

The seed orders that were placed the first week in January have been received with one exception of a tomato variety that was sold out in mid-December. Now I fear I may be labeled as The Wicked Witch of the West for calling the seed company as many times as I have for an update on the restocking date. I asked to be put on list to be notified but they said no to that idea.

Next on the list is to organize the tax file. That season is upon us already. With this chore I am easily distracted and chose instead to go to the book shelf and pull out one of my favorites “A Gardeners Dictionary (A Dictionary for Weedpullers, Slugcrushers, & Backyard Botanists)” by Henry Beard and Roy McKie. Over the years I have quoted parts of the book. The quotes never get old and always bring a chuckle.

Artichoke — The only vegetable as troublesome to eat as it is to grow.

Beech — Nurseryman’s technical term for either: 1. A very difficult landscaping job or 2. A woman supervising such a job.

Birch — The list of the 10 most common ornaments in American front yards is headed by the canoe birch, whose dazzling white bark is much prized. The rest of the list: blue spruce, dwarf red Japanese maple, Lombardy poplar, animal figurines, religious statuettes, gnomes, shiny globes on pedestals and yucca plants.

Broccoli — Member of the cabbage family grown chiefly as receptacle for hollandaise sauce.

Brochures & Catalogs — Forms of entertaining fiction published by nurseries, seedsmen, and tool manufactures.

Bud Union — An organization of flower lovers.

Cold Frame — Elaborate display case for showing off a gardener’s collection of freeze-dried specimens.

Dividing — The assignment of separate garden sections to each member of the family.

Forcing — The process of extracting work from teen-agers.

Furrow — Horizontal line on forehead of gardener. See Harrowing

Garden — One of the vast number of free outdoor restaurants operated by charity-minded amateurs in an effort to provide healthful, balanced meals for insects, birds and animals.

Gin — 1. Remarkable agricultural aid developed in the 19th century by Yankee tinkerers. 2. Remarkable agricultural aid developed in the 18th century by British distillers.

Green Thumb — Common condition suffered by gardeners in which the skin of the thumb develops a greenish hue as a result of handling large amounts of currency at nurseries.

Hardening Off — The process the central Oregon gardeners go through over the years as they become resigned to the possibility of frosts in June, hail in July, frosts in August and the killing frost in September that wipes out what wasn’t wiped out in previous events. (Confession-this definition is mine)

Hardy — A plant is said to be hardy if it remains alive in a nursery long enough to be sold.

Harrowing — Type of gardening experience that produces furrows.

Honesty — Very attractive traditional plant with sweet-smelling purple and white flowers and papery seedpods. Some new varieties of this garden favorite are now available, including “Deniability,” “Point-in-Time,” “Best Recollection,” and “limited Immunity.”

Memorial Day Weekend — Traditional planting time in many parts of the country.

Monday After the Memorial Day Weekend — Traditional time to dig up and dispose of plants killed by unexpected hard frost the previous night.

Pest — Any creature that eats green vegetables without being compelled to.

Pinching — Pruning method developed in Italian gardens

Rot — Gardening advice.

Wrest — Violent method of removing weeds, often confused with the forms of inactivity which proceed and follow it.

Yard — 1. (Penology) Dusty open area where hard labor is performed. 2. (Horticulture) Dusty open area where hard labor is performed.

The coffee cup is empty, we’ve taken time to pause and have a few giggles, now it’s time to get organized.