Cristina Ver Valen hugs her son, Chase Ver Valen-Wason, in their Madras home Dec. 30.  

MADRAS — For most of his life, Chase Ver Valen-Wason was uncomfortable in the skin he was born in. He never felt he was his true, authentic self and was terrified to tell his family.

“At the age of 10, it was so heavy. It felt like I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t breathe at all. I couldn’t think straight,” said Ver Valen-Wason, 23. “Even looking at myself in the mirror, I thought I was a mistake for the longest time.”

But at 14, when almost everyone knew Chase as Kayla, he came out as transgender.

Now that Ver Valen-Wason is out, he is more comfortable in his own skin. Sitting in a booth at the Black Bear Diner in Madras with his mother, Cristina Ver Valen, Ver Valen-Wason spoke confidently and showed off a series of drawings of characters for a book he started before coming out. His goal is to eventually go to art school and put his characters into animation.

Despite his passion for being who he is, coming out as transgender has brought its own set of struggles. He found some of the people he was surrounded by, even some of his own family members, did not accept him for who he is. The rejection, the criticism, the hate and even the threats associated with coming out became another battle he would have to fight.

Ver Valen-Wason is one of thousands of LGBTQ youth across the state who struggle with their mental health as a result of rejection by family members and in their communities.

A recent national survey showed LGBTQ youth between the ages of 13 and 24 in Oregon have considered or attempted suicide at alarming rates. For trans youth like Ver Valen-Wason, the number is even higher, with 54% of transgender and nonbinary youth considering suicide in the past year. For those who attempted suicide in the past year, the number is 19%.

Ver Valen-Wason is one of those who has considered suicide, and at times has harmed himself. Ver Valen, Ver Valen-Wason’s mother, who is disabled and relies on her son to be her caretaker, supports her son unconditionally, she said. She also goes out of her way to understand what would drive him to hurt himself.

“Not feeling good enough. Not feeling worth something. And I understand that, again, because of my disability and what I have faced,” Ver Valen said. “And I see that in some ways that other family members don’t because I’ve been discriminated against. It may be in a different aspect, but I understand it. So, I try my damnedest to see through his eyes.”

Ver Valen-Wason said he gets a lot of his strength from his mother’s unyielding support. But for Ver Valen, being the mother of a transgender youth in rural Central Oregon can be tough. She said she wishes there were more resources for the parents of LGBTQ youth in the area who often, along with their children, endure harassment. For Ver Valen-Wason, who came of age as a trans man in such an environment, life can feel like a constant battle. But he is far from alone.

Throughout Central Oregon there are a number of resources for LGBTQ youth and their families, like the LGBTQ support group for trans youth Ver Valen-Wason regularly attends in Madras.

The support group is hosted by BestCare Treatment Services in Jefferson County, and it is tailored for youth between the ages of 18 and 24 who are transitioning, Heather Crow-Martinez, program director at Jefferson County Behavioral Health Programming, told the Bulletin in an email.

“We started these groups because we saw a strong need in the community due to there being no support in place for this population,” Crow-Martinez said. “All of our members have faced the hate and disapproval of family, friends, or general community members, and in our group they gain access to people who can relate and understand them to some capacity.”

This sense of community fostered by programs like BestCare’s support group for trans youth is part of a constellation of resources in the area for LGBTQ youth and their parents.

Burvesh Kumar is a member of the board of directors of OUT Central Oregon, an LGBTQ advocacy group, and an educator at La Pine Elementary School. He grew up in Central Oregon but chose to move to New York for college, where he could fully embrace his authentic self as a gay man.

Now, as an educator in Central Oregon, he has a passion for guiding youth toward growing into their authentic selves no matter their identity.

“If I had stayed here the whole time, in Bend or in Central Oregon, after I came out, I would probably not be this person,” Kumar said. “I had to leave to come back. So, my goal is that kids don’t have to leave. Not everybody can leave and not everybody can afford to leave or have the access to leave.”

“The goal is for them to grow and become their true selves, in this area, and to find the inclusive spaces in this area, to find the support, in this area,’’ Kumar said.

To work towards such an environment for LGBTQ youth, OUT Central Oregon holds a number of events in the region that celebrate LGBTQ culture and help build the sense of community and acceptance essential to the mental health and well being of many queer people.

That sense of building a community and not feeling isolated is not only important for the LGBTQ community in general, but especially for trans people, Kumar said.

“Suicide is, to be honest, a thought that can come into lots of queer people’s minds at some point in their life,” Kumar said. “Especially, I can imagine, even more in trans people.”

Kumar said OUT Central Oregon is continuing its work creating a welcoming environment for members of the LGBTQ community, but that more resources are needed in nearby towns like Madras and La Pine.

Back at the Black Bear in Madras, Ver Valen-Wason and Ver Valen were still enjoying their breakfast together when the conversation turned back to Ver Valen-Wason’s coming out.

Ver Valen-Wason said initially he was terrified of what would happen once he came out as trans. He feared his family and friends would not accept him. He also feared, because of the broader political climate around the LGBTQ community, the possibility of being the victim of a hate crime, something that still concerns him.

But what motivated him was a video posted on social media of a teenage boy who came out as gay to his mother.

“He came out to his mom, and he had it on video. He told her that he was gay. And she accepted him,” Ver Valen-Wason said. “And when I saw that on Facebook, I was like, maybe that can happen to me. My family can accept me for who I am and still love me. They won’t treat me any differently.”

As it turned out, most of the main people in his life accepted him when he came out, and he would encourage others like him to overcome the fear and do the same, he said.

“Don’t let the hate win. Don’t let the negativity win. There may be so much darkness in this world, but people keep forgetting there is still so much light in the world. There is so much positivity,” Ver Valen-Wason said.

Youth resources: Resources in Central Oregon for LGBTQ youth: outcentraloregon.com/youth/

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the United States.

1-800-273-TALK (8255) TEXT “273Talk” to 839863

For Veterans press #1

Ayuda en español llame (for Spanish language call) 1-888-628-9454, TEXT “MIL1” to 839863

For Hearing and speech impaired call 1-800-799-4TTY (4889)

Oregon YouthLine: YouthLine is a free, confidential teen-to-teen crisis and help line

877-968-8491 or text “teen2teen” to 83983

The Trevor Project: a crisis intervention resources for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning young people ages 13-24.

1-866-488-7386 or text “START” to 678678