Derik Beehler recently participated in a unique Christmas gift exchange with three of his four children. Alec, 13, picked out a unicorn for his younger sister, Gracie, 6. And in return, Gracie chose an RC car for Alec. They wrapped them separately, in secret, and then exchanged gifts. Emmie, 17 months old, was there too, picking up toys and doing her own thing.

It was a moment of joy and escape from reality in an otherwise challenging time for the Beehlers — two family members couldn’t be there with them. Beehler’s fiancee Alissa Carey and their newborn daughter Audrie were in the neonatal intensive care unit at St. Charles Bend . Audrie was born prematurely — her mother’s water broke just 26 weeks into the pregnancy.

Beehler was with the three older children in the Ronald McDonald House, just across the parking lot from St. Charles Bend. He has been staying there since early November and it has proven to be a crucial lifeline of support while his fiancee and daughter are in the NICU. Carey rarely leaves to avoid picking up an infection from outside that could be transmitted to their baby.

The house “feels really good. If you had to have a home away from home, this is the place,” said Beehler.

A place to stay in challenging times

Ronald McDonald House in Bend is just one of around 380 such facilities worldwide. The houses are free for guests to stay in and are open to families with a child 21 or younger in a nearby hospital. They are designed for people who live out of town and need a place to stay at any stage of their child’s medical event, which helps reduce costs associated with medical care.

Beehler had heard of Ronald McDonald Houses but knew little of how they operated before he was invited to stay at the one in Bend. The need came one day in early November when Carey’s water broke just 26 weeks into her pregnancy. Emergency care at a hospital with a NICU was essential but the nearest one was in Bend, 118 miles from their home in Spray, a remote hamlet on a bend of the John Day River.

Life Flight, which offers medical air services, was summoned, but reaching Spray was impossible due to stormy weather. So Beehler and Carey climbed into an ambulance for the 2.5-hour drive to Bend. Roughly halfway into the drive, the Life Flight helicopter pilot was able to land on a remote section of highway in the Ochoco Mountains and Carey was flown to Bend.

Beehler was unable to join Carey in the helicopter due to space constraints and returned to Spray in the ambulance. Once back in Spray, he turned right around in his own car and drove to Bend to catch up with his fiancee.

An option to stay in Bend

At St. Charles, a social worker let Beehler know the Ronald McDonald House was a housing option for what looked like a lengthy stay in Bend. The Bend facility was full but a room opened up within a couple of days and Beehler was able to check in.

“Without this option, I don’t know what I would be doing because there’s no way I could afford to be driving all the way from Spray over to here,” he said. “I really don’t know what I would do without this place.”

That was mid-November and he has been there since. Thanksgiving was particularly difficult when his fiancee and baby were at the hospital.

“It does get a bit lonely,” said Beehler. “But the staff here is absolutely incredible.”

The older children have remained in Spray with Carey’s parents but they recently arrived in Bend to stay through the holidays. What they’ve found is a thriving holiday spirit in the house.

The exterior of the building is modest, but the inside glows with holiday magic. A tree is trimmed with sparkling ornaments and a warm fire burns inside an oversized stone fireplace. A plate of Christmas cookies in the kitchen is waiting to be eaten by any passerby. Toys donated by the community are available for siblings who stay in the house. Gifts for parents are available too.

“We create a holiday experience for them here,” said Lauren Olander, chief development officer for the Ronald McDonald House in Bend. “We want them to be able to have a holiday here too, even if they’re far from home and their support system.”

During mealtime, home-cooked dishes are prepared by volunteers from the community. After a day at the hospital, families under stress can return to the house for a hot meal and dessert — berry cobbler and mini doughnuts have been big hits with the kids, said Beehler.

Support network

After meals, families are often found in a game room where heated games of foosball and billiards are played. Board games are also popular — Beehler’s kids have been playing Monopoly, Sorry and Guess Who to pass the time. Professional mental health support is available but Beehler said some of the families staying in the house bond over their shared experience and end up being a support network for each other.

“There is one other couple in here that is also going through the same stuff. They’re roughly our age,” said Beehler. “I’ve communicated with them quite a bit. It helps. It does help knowing that you’re not alone.”

The bonds between families staying at the house usually continue long after they have checked out, said Olander.

“We have families that have forged lifetime friendships,” she said.

Morning in the house tends to be rushed as family members are eager to get back to the hospital and their children. For the Beehler-Carey family, the latest reports from the NICU have been positive. Baby Audrie is getting better with each passing day.

“At first it was a little bit scary. She was having some breathing episodes but those seemed to have calmed down now. We’re just waiting for her to get bigger and stronger but she is expected to be completely fine.”

That is good news for the Beehler-Carey family as they continue to look forward to the day when Audrie gets the green light for doctors to return to Spray. In the meantime, the family spirit will continue to be lifted, with help from the Ronald McDonald House and a community that continues to step up in tough times.

How to help

The Ronald McDonald House in Bend needs volunteers for different roles, especially when it comes to preparing food or paying for food ingredients. They can be reached at: 541-318-4950.

The Beehler-Carey family also has a GoFundMe account set up to pay for medical related expenses.