There’s something terribly un-American about those harsh new laws banning saggy pants.

You know the saggy pants I’m talking about. They’re worn by young American males; pants so droopy that undershorts and what’s under undershorts are exposed, establishing the saggy pants wearer as either: A) an ex-con who got used to the “no belt” look in state prison, or B) a really cool person who is the envy of all.

Sadly, politicians in Florida, Arkansas and Illinois are opposed to the pursuit of happiness by young men. And they’ve come up with a series of so-called Hike Up Yer Dang Pants Laws. These laws are rather severe.

“The parents, the grandmothers, the professional people, they say, ‘How can they walk down the street showing their behinds?’ It’s not civilized,” said Florida state Sen. Gary Siplin of Orlando.

Siplin, a Democrat, was at a Florida school the other day, passing out 200 belts to high school boys so they could keep their pants up. He was in a Reuters story explaining his Draconian anti-saggy pants law for students that was pushed through the Florida Legislature last year.

It provides that boys may be suspended for a repeat sag offense. And girls are not immune, either. They’re no longer allowed to wear revealing, midriff-exposing shirts and low-cut necklines.

Naturally, the American Civil Liberties Union is opposed on the grounds such saggy-pants bans violate personal freedom. The boys wearing saggy pants probably felt the same way about the ban against revealing clothing worn by the girls.

Predictably, the NAACP joined the ACLU and began whining, on the grounds that saggy-pants bans impinge on freedom and unfairly target minority students.

Siplin, who is African-American, isn’t subject to the same crippling guilt suffered by white liberal journalists and Democratic policy wonks.

“I’m not going to hire anyone, white or black, with saggy pants,” Siplin said.

He’s not the only one opposed to saggy pants. There’s a saggy-pants law in Arkansas and another one in Lynwood, Ill., a Chicago suburb.

“It’s ugly and stupid,” Lynwood Mayor Eugene Williams said in a recent Chicago Tribune story about saggy pants fines in his town.

Even President Barack Obama doesn’t like saggy pants. Though he said during his 2008 presidential campaign that saggy-pants laws were a waste of time, he added:

“Having said that, brothers should pull up their pants. You are walking by your mother, your grandmother, your underwear is showing. What’s wrong with that? Come on.

“There are some issues that we face,” said the future president, “that you don’t have to pass a law, but that doesn’t mean folks can’t have some sense and some respect for other people, and you know, some people might not want to see your underwear — I’m one of them.”

When his daughters are of dating age, just imagine some saggy-pants-wearing youth showing up at the White House. And now you know why Obama really never intended to close Guantanamo Bay.

Still, it’s obvious that our public officials really don’t know what to do about saggy pants. Prohibitions don’t work. Screaming doesn’t work.

But I’ve come up with a better idea, one that’s guaranteed to work.

Every American adult male age 30 to 95 could volunteer to wear saggy pants and we could call it National Saggy Pants Are So Cool Month.

Obama and conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh could be co-chairmen and let their pants sag publicly, in the name of saving the young people of America.

Judges, college deans, coaches, clergy, underwriters, actuaries, portly columnists, every American guy in saggy pants just like Barack and Rush.

It would be like watching your dad dancing at a wedding. We’d not only save the Constitution, but saggy pants would no longer be cool. Yes we can!

America’s young men would flee from saggy pants. Instead, they’d insist on wearing slacks and blazers. The economy would skyrocket. Wouldn’t that be great?

“That’s the worst idea,” said Mayor Williams of Lynwood, when we called to see if he’d join the crusade.

“I will not be doing that, and I would discourage anyone from doing it,” he said.

The distinguished mayor said leaders should be leaders. And he reasoned that if he were to wear saggy pants, he’d be sending the opposite message.

“Should we all do crack (cocaine) for a while so we can tell everyone it’s bad?” he asked.

Heavens, no.

But a bunch of middle-age men wearing saggy pants wouldn’t look like youthful urban hipsters.

Instead, we’d look very much like plumbers. And what’s not cool about that?