It turns out the way infants play, from peekaboo with parents to simply banging a toy on the ground, aren’t just purely fun. Many of these common actions and interactions help babies and toddlers develop a range of skills.

“The interaction between parents and child is critical. It’s not just something we do for fun. It’s critical for growth and development,” said Holly Antal, a pediatric clinical psychologist from Florida.

Barbara Welles-Nystrom, an early childhood development specialist with Fairfield University in Connecticut, calls play “the work of development.” When baby animals are young, they practice biting. When children are young, they also practice their skills, says Welles-Nystrom.

“I think parents see it as play because it’s so enjoyable.” And at such a young age, learning is still fun.

Amy James, a Bend mom of two and a Kindermusik teacher, believes that knowing about brain development and how play and music affects her kids is important.

“Knowing that you only have so long, you make the most of your child’s development. Opportunities are lost by the time they reach school age,” James said. “Knowing this information as a parent is crucial.”

Overall

• Learn a few games or interactions: It may be natural for parents to love their babies, but “it may not be natural to know what to do,” said Antal. Learning about some simple developmental milestones and key interactions can help guide parents.

• Faces vs. screens: Many new “fancy studies” have shown what researchers long suspected: Faces are better than screens. That’s what Jan Drucker, a clinical psychologist and professor of psychology at Sarah Lawrence College in New York, says. When babies see smiling human faces and receive that eye contact, it stimulates the social and emotional parts of their brains and this, in turn, is what they need for cognitive development. Researchers compared the baby’s reaction to faces with their reactions to seeing faces on a screen. “Looking at faces on screens is not as good as looking at real people.” Drucker calls faces “irreducible and irreplaceable.”

Cris Rowan, a pediatric occupational therapist in British Columbia, believes that “baby TV impedes development.” She says young children are watching too much television, more than two hours per day for those up to age 2, while the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends none for that age.

• Reading: Reading a book together is a good activity throughout all of the developmental stages. Infants will learn the sound of their parents’ voices, while toddlers learn to associate words and sounds.

• Enjoy this time: Children can tell when parents are having fun or just going through the motions. “Children can respond to and read social cues and facial expressions,” said Antal. Drucker says it’s simple: “If a parent isn’t enjoying it, there’s no point.”

• Alone time: While interacting with parents is really important, “babies should have some time when they play on their own,” according to Drucker. This allows them to learn how to be inside their own heads and helps them create a sense of imagination. “That capacity to be interested and to explore starts with babies,” said Drucker.

• Direct instruction: Drucker says parents shouldn’t look at play time as time for lessons or direct instructions. “It’s not about teaching kids specific things, it’s more about the experience.”

(Parents should keep in mind that children develop at different rates and these milestones should be adjusted based on each individual child.)

Birth to 3 months

• Simple things: For the first three to four months of life, it’s all about basic care, according to Antal. “Parents primary goal is to nurture that bond and show affection.” The basics of feeding, changing diapers and bathing become important interactions when parents take time to look at their babies, talk to them and touch them. “Just getting them to focus on your face for a few seconds” is playing at such a young age, according to Drucker.

• This little piggy went to market: This simple childhood game involves a motor component, as parents move the infants’ toes, a perception part as little ones feel their toes move, as well as a sound portion that helps them learn rhythm, according to Drucker. They get auditory stimulation, body stimulation and a surprise.

• Infant massage: “Tactile stimulation is always beneficial,” said Welles-Nystrom. Parents can use a little baby oil to gently stretch and flex the infant’s limbs, move fingers and toes and stretch the infant’s arms above his or her head. It can aid infant’s sleep and help them learn about their bodies, according to Welles-Nystrom.

• Sound and sight check: Newborns are capable of seeing and hearing right away, according to Welles-Nystrom. Parents can speak gently near their baby’s ear and notice that the infant will turn toward the sound. Or parents can get eye contact with their baby and then move their head from side to side.

3 to 6 months

• Talk: “Remember to talk to your child about events and let you child hear a variety of words,” said Antal. Parents are not trying to teach infants to speak, just to get babies used to the sound of a parent’s voice.

• Imitating simple actions: Infants this age will start to imitate simple actions, says Antal. If parents drop an object, the infant may drop one, too. This can become a simple game.

•Mirrors: At first, infants simply like to look at the baby they see in the mirror and may reach out to try to touch, according to Drucker. But after awhile, they begin to realize that the parent’s reflection looks like their mom or dad. At some point they will begin to look back and forth, from the mirror to their parent. It’s a very complicated mental development in which babies realize “I’m me and you’re you.” This can take months. But this age is a good time to start introducing mirrors.

6 to 9 months

• Banging objects: By about 6 months old, infants become pretty good at grabbing objects and get really into banging them against something else, according to Drucker. This is actually an important developmental milestone for kids. It gives infants a sense of their own agency, they think: “I moved and something happened.” She points out that many electronic toys are designed with this impulse in mind. Kids bang a square and it makes a noise. But in fact, the toys are not necessary.

• Patty-cake: Infants won’t be able to do this on their own for some time, but it’s good to get started early on this game. Rowan calls it “awesome” for helping with bilateral integration because little ones are using both sides of their body, which in turn activates both sides of their brain.

• Clap and pat: By about 8 to 9 months, little ones start to develop the ability to clap and pat, according to James. Parents can help little ones clap along to a steady beat, which they may like as it reminds them of the heartbeat they listened to in the womb.

9 months to 1 year

• Peekaboo: While parents can begin playing this at earlier ages, by this time, infants may begin to really get the fun of the game. They are starting to learn about object permanence, which is why separation anxiety can begin at this age, according to Antal. By playing games like peekaboo, in which a parent “disappears” and then “reappears,” children may become acclimated to the idea that someone can go away and come back. Drucker says this is also a good first example of coordinating. By about this age, babies start to develop the ability to anticipate, so playing up on this is good.

• Waving: Children at this age may be able to start learning to wave and say “bye, bye,” according to Antal.

• Mirrors: A baby’s relationship with a mirror changes at this point. Drucker discusses a study in which a red dot was placed on a baby’s forehead before he or she was put in front of a mirror. By the second half of their first year, the babies began to point to the dot they saw in the mirror. About 10-12 months, they started to touch their own forehead. Drucker believes this activity helps “build up a sense of self.”

12 to 18 months

• Peekaboo: This game can change a bit at this age. Instead of parents simply holding a cloth in front of their face, they can hide behind objects and ask little ones to find them.

• Ball: Little ones and parents can sit on the floor together and roll a ball back and forth between them. According to Antal, this is a great way for children to start to learn about the idea of sharing and passing something back and forth.

• Containers: Children, at this age, will start putting objects into a container and then dumping them out, says Drucker. And this is a great way to learn about cause and effect connections.

• Hiding. Starting at this age, parents can play hiding games with their little ones. Parents can hide a toy in a large box filled with newspaper. Or they can place a ball under one of several cups for toddlers to find.

18 months and beyond

• Develop a beat: By about 18 months, children start to develop their own beat, according to James. They can make a steady, consistent beat, but they can’t yet match a beat to music. James says “beat competency” is a big developmental step for little ones. It can help them master skills like riding a bike, tying shoes and learning to read. By 2 to 3 years, toddlers begin to recognize an outside beat and can work to match it.

• Instruments: James often has her young toddler students work with basic rhythmic instruments because that not only teaches them hand-eye coordination, but also helps them create a cross-lateral connection. This offers the same benefits as patty-cake or crawling, in that it requires the two hemispheres of the brain to cross.

Developmental milestones

By 1 month

By 3 months

By 7 months

By 12 months

By 2 years

The following milestones come from the American Academy of Pediatrics. Different professionals assess and measure the milestones differently. Parents should keep in mind that each child is different and that these guidelines may not match up with each individual child.

• Moves head side to side while lying on stomach

• Focuses eyes 8-12 inches away

• Prefers black and white or high contrast patterns

• May turn toward familiar sounds or voices

• Swipes hands at dangling objects

• Grasps and shakes toys

• Follows moving objects with eyes

• Begins to babble and imitate some sounds

• Enjoys playing with people

• Rolls from front to back and back to front

• Reaches with one hand

• Transfers object from one hand to another

• Vision is full color

• Responds to sounds by making sounds

• Uses voice to express joy and displeasure

• Can find a partially hidden object

• Enjoys social play

• Interested in mirror images

• Crawls

• Walks holding on to furniture

• Bangs two objects together

• Takes objects out of a container and puts objects into a container

• Tries to imitate words

• Explores objects by shaking, banging, throwing and dropping

• Imitates gestures

• Shows preferences for certain people and toys

• Walks alone

• Carries toys while walking

• Begins to run

• Kicks a ball

• Scribbles

• Builds a tower of four or more blocks

• Recognizes names of people, objects and body parts

• Begins to sort by shapes and colors

• Begins make-believe play

• Increasingly aware of self as separate from others

• Increasingly enthusiastic about company of other children