Celebrate singledom on Valentine’s Day with anti-love songs

Published 2:00 pm Wednesday, February 10, 2021

To quote Paul McCartney, “You’d think that people would have had enough of silly love songs.” Romantic songs may be ubiquitous in pop music, but for the perennially single on Valentine’s Day, they just serve as another reminder of loneliness. If you’re down in the dumps because you’ve been dumped just in time for Cupid’s day, you can still turn to music for comfort. While not as common as the love song, the anti-love song has a place in many artists’ oeuvres, as this playlist will demonstrate.

But first, let’s define parameters. An anti-love song is not the same as a break-up song, although plenty of break-up songs can be anti-love.

To use an example from this list, “Weird Al” Yankovic’s “One More Minute” qualifies because Yankovic is clearly expressing disgust toward a lover. But “You Don’t Love Me Anymore,” another Yankovic song that was in the running, feels more like an extreme version of unrequited love, with Yankovic declaring that “you slammed my face down on the barbecue grill; now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will.”

Remember, this is just for fun (and maybe a little comfort for the Valentine’s Day singles out there). You could almost think of this as a “self-love” playlist.

And no matter how down in the dumps about romantic love you may be, another Beatle still said it best: “All you need is love.”

“Go Your Own Way,” Fleetwood Mac

This entry is no surprise, given Fleetwood Mac’s penchant for intra-band acrimony and sordid love affairs. Appearing on 1977’s “Rumours” album, “Go Your Own Way” was written by guitarist Lindsey Buckingham as a send-off to lead vocalist and ex-flame Stevie Nicks.

“You Oughta Know,” Alanis Morissette

Released in 1995, “You Oughta Know” marked Alanis Morissette’s transition from bubblegum pop to alternative rock, and it was the perfect track to do so. Morissette calls out an ex-lover and the new squeeze: “Does she know how you told me you’d hold me until you died, ‘til you died, but you’re still alive?”

“F- — You,” Cee Lo Green

In 2010, Cee Lo Green scored a hit with a song whose title can’t be said on the radio (or properly written in a family newspaper). How, you may ask? By couching the song’s bitter sentiment in one of the most massive hooks this side of Lennon/McCartney.

“Since U Been Gone,” Kelly Clarkson

Kelly Clarkson was already a star thanks to her “American Idol” win when “Since U Been Gone” was released in 2004, but the song helped cement her place in music history. This slice of guitar-heavy power pop is unambiguous in its post-breakup celebration, with Clarkson declaring that “since you’ve been gone I can breathe for the first time.”

“What’s Love Got to Do With It,” Tina Turner

Tina Turner’s 1984 single certainly fits the anti-love bill, comparing the sentiment to “a second-hand emotion.” But beyond that, it’s an anthem for women’s sexual empowerment, with Turner explaining at the top: “It’s only the thrill of boy meeting girl; opposites attract, it’s physical, only logical; you must try to ignore that it means more than that.”

“I Don’t Wanna Walk Around With You,” The Ramones

One of the most succinct songs on punk pioneer The Ramones’ 1976 self-titled debut, an album whose raison d’etre was succinct rock ’n’ roll songs. The only lyrics: “I don’t wanna walk around with you, so why you wanna walk around with me?”

“Warm Beer and Cold Women,” Tom Waits

Tom Waits uses his ragged, whiskey-soaked voice to great effect on “Warm Beer and Cold Women,” from his 1975 album “Nighthawks at the Diner.” The song is classic Waits: a tear-in-beer barroom dirge punctuated by forlorn saxophone, as the singer plumbs the depths of his outcast despair: “Warm beer and cold women, I just don’t fit in; every joint I stumbled into tonight, that’s just how it’s been.”

“We Don’t Get Along,” The Go-Go’s

Taken from The Go-Go’s 1982 sophomore album, “Vacation,” “We Don’t Get Along” harks back to the pioneering new wave group’s early punk days. The song, written by bassist Kathy Valentine, is a resigned examination of two incompatible lovers butting heads: “You always go to sleep when I stay up all night; you say I’m wrong when I’m thinkin’ you’re alright.”

“Song for the Dumped,” Ben Folds Five

This song is exactly what its title suggests, with vocalist/pianist/band namesake Ben Folds demanding that his former lover “give me my money back” in the chorus hook. Taken from the band’s 1997 breakout album, “Whatever and Ever Amen,” it showed a more whimsical (if angry) side to the band than heard on the album’s somber hit, “Brick.”

“One More Minute,” “Weird Al” Yankovic

This 1985 song from the album “Dare to Be Stupid” finds the master parodist listing increasingly horrific scenarios he’d rather be in than spend “one more minute with you,” including facial paper cuts, disembowelment with a fork and shoving “an icepick under a toenail or two.”

“Irreplaceable,” Beyoncé

Based on the title and the bright guitar that opens the song, “Irreplaceable” seems like it should be an actual love song instead of a stinging send-off to an ex-lover. From Beyoncé’s 2006 solo album “B’day,” the song turns these tropes and more on its head, and features a deceptively sunny hook: “Don’t you ever for a second get to thinking you’re irreplaceable.”

“Train in Vain,” The Clash

One of the best songs on one of The Clash’s best albums, 1979’s “London Calling” was actually an unlisted track upon the record’s release. Sung by guitarist Mick Jones, the song is straightforward heartbreak summed up in the bitter, post-chorus refrain: “You didn’t stand by me, no, not at all.” (This may be another edge case of severe unrequited love, but exceptions will be made for The Clash, end of story.)

“I Will Survive,” Gloria Gaynor

Gloria Gaynor’s 1978 soul/disco hit has become a quintessential singles empowerment anthem. “I Will Survive” starts out unsure, with Gaynor declaring, “At first I was afraid, I was petrified.” But she quickly changes her tune: “I should have changed that stupid lock, I should have made you leave your key, if I’d known for just one second you’d be back to bother me.”

“Love Stinks,” J. Geils Band

The quintessential anti-love song, released on J. Geils Band’s 1980 album of the same name. There exists no finer manifesto for the world’s unromantic souls, at least in musical form: “You love her, but she loves him, and he loves somebody else; you just can’t win.” Not recommended for weddings, unless you’re Adam Sandler.

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