“My Agent Didn’t Tell me That!”

Negotiations happen each and every day. Some people do not like to negotiate while others were born with the natural capacity to negotiate anything. Take my son for example. He seemed to have been born with the gift of negotiation. By the time he could talk, he began questioning everything. While playing a game he would ask for options on the rules — sometimes so he could win, but other times just to see if the game could be played another way.

He would ask, “See what I mean mom?” Ahhh, empathy.

Do you remember the “why” stage? It typically starts around the age of 3, and it usually ends around age 5. My son is 12 and still questions every answer he receives, especially from me, always ready to negotiate for a different answer.

Our discussions can be entertaining, educational, frustrating and sometimes we just have to agree to disagree. I pray for grace most days because deep down I know I am just like my son. I ask a lot of questions to learn about motivations of a client, which in turn allows me to understand what is important and what may not be important, helping me in any pending negotiations.

The “why?” question comes up often in real estate. Why is the seller selling? Why did they remodel their kitchen and are now selling? Why is the driveway half-way on the neighbor’s lot? Why do you want to buy?

I believe one of the top two skills an agent brings to the table is the ability to negotiate. A lot of work happens behind the scenes that insulates you from gritty details that can surface — from contract misinterpretations to questionable statements made during an inspection.

While you are at work or enjoying your kids’ basketball game, you can be confident that the professionals you have hired are negotiating on your behalf. Part of our job is to help research property details such as results from inspections, property corners, licensed easements and recorded access (unlicensed access and unrecorded easements), subdivision rules, HOA changes, newly discovered water leaks in the crawl space … the possibilities are endless. We mention discovery items as they present themselves and when we call, our goal is to have one or two options to help navigate the hurdle.

Sometimes an offer is presented, no questions are asked, escrow proceeds smoothly and the sale closes without any hassles (oh wait, that was a dream I had last night). However, real estate negotiations can occur at any time during a pending sale, for any reason.

Tensions can rise when unwanted surprises surface, such as if a property is suddenly involved in the neighbor’s property-line dispute. If one party or the other starts to insinuate secrets were hidden, a transaction can go south faster than a melting ice cream cone in your 2-year-old’s hands.

I would venture to guess that 95 percent of the time issues get resolved; it’s that dynamic five percent of the time where we get sandwiched into difficult negotiations and more time is needed to process and collaborate a solution.

Some questions or phrases your agent may use to learn as much as they can on your behalf are:

1. Let me ask my client about that.

2. I don’t know the answer to that question. (Then find out and get back to them).

3. I would be happy to ask my client if you would put the question in writing.

4. I am acting on my client’s instructions.

5. I know it is a simple question, but my clients are very private people and I cannot discuss it.

At times your agent is pressured for an answer that hasn’t come to fruition yet. When this happens we ask for more time or tell the other agent that we are not in a good place to discuss the matter in depth and set up another time to discuss.

If the other agent starts to press heavily in negotiations, occasionally I have to inform the other agent that I am simply following my client’s/managing broker’s/lawyer’s instructions.

When questions come up throughout the transaction, it’s always best to refer to the sales contract. While licensees need to possess a firm understanding of what our real estate contract says, there are moments when we bring our managing broker to the table.

I learned from a mentor of mine that most statements are questions in disguise. Applying this nugget of knowledge has helped me open up many a door in enhancing discussions with people from all walks of life.

Handling unforeseen or potential stressful situations in a diplomatic fashion is essential in today’s marketplace. My son is negotiating his extensive Christmas list and I know he’s enjoying the process. I’m remaining patient as he works through his ideas. I know he’s coming from a place of joy and not expectation … or is he? I’m negotiating as well and looking forward to another fun holiday coming right up!