Many parents are scratching their heads these days; no, it’s not another head lice outbreak, it’s uncertainty over an equally insidious parenting challenge: managing the amount of time their children spend staring at screens each day.

Concerns about sexting and online bullying are worrisome enough; add to that the sheer volume of screen time many kids engage in, and it’s downright unsettling. Parents are forced to create a balance, allowing their children to engage in this digital age without disturbing their health and social or emotional development; therein lies the challenge.

A survey of more than 2,600 children aged 8 to 18 conducted in February and March by San Francisco nonprofit Common Sense Media, found teens average nine hours a day on entertainment media. Tweens 8 to 12 years old are spending six hours with various digital media. This includes web browsing, social media, streaming media such as music and videos, texting, watching TV and gaming. School or homework related screen time is not included in this data.

Perhaps these figures don’t seem quite so surprising since more than 35 percent of U.S. children first play with a mobile device before age 2, according to Common Sense Media. Things just snowball from there as kids get older. The Pew Research Center reported almost 75 percent of teens have smartphones and 24 percent admit using their phones almost constantly.

The detrimental effects of so much time spent immersed in the digital world are numerous: sleep deprivation if kids stay up late gaming or wake up frequently during the night to read or respond to messages; less time spent on other pursuits and hobbies including physical activity; less time engaged in face-to-face relationships with friends and family; and inattention during other activities such as study and social events. All these factors may contribute to young people feeling isolated, depressed and having a lack of empathy and compassion.

Dr. Nathan Osborn, a psychiatrist at Bend’s Cascade Family and Child Psychiatry, advises parents that their kids should have no access to electronics in their bedrooms at night. In cases where children are continually flouting household rules regarding the use of electronics, he has suggested using a safe as a last resort to physically separate the children from their devices.

“However, electronics are so alluring and pervasive, parents are fighting an uphill battle if they impose restrictions without two-way conversations to work towards getting buy-in and understanding from their children,” Osborn said.

“Making appropriate choices about our technology-embedded lives is a process that must be ongoing and dynamic to have any hope of being successful,” Osborn said. “If kids really want to find a way around their parents’ rules, they almost always do.”

Setting an example

Osborn feels the best approach is for parents to begin teaching and modeling good digital habits to their children from an early age. “Parents need to listen and engage with their kids about technology use to be successful,” he said. “Being authoritarian will just lead to kids hiding their activities, and doesn’t teach the self-regulation skills they desperately need.”

On Osborn’s recommended reading list is “The Big Disconnect: Protecting Childhood and Family Relationships in the Digital Age” by Catherine Steiner-Adair and Teresa Barker. He feels it offers parents useful insights and can be a good starting point for conversations with their kids.

A big part of the challenge for many parents is a lack of clear limits and guidelines to follow as they try to find and then implement the right balance for their families when it comes to digital media usage.

In September, the American Academy of Pediatrics modified their long-standing recommendation that children under 2 years old should have no exposure to screens, and older children limit screen time to no more than two hours per day.

Following an invitation-only AAP media research symposium in May, they announced their guidelines were being changed to better align with the modern realities of the digital world and the latest science and research. The new AAP guidance veers away from specific time limits. Instead it advises parents to carefully curate content, get plugged in with their kids, remember that very young children learn best from live interactions (not passive video presentations), ensure children have daily unplugged playtime, set reasonable limits that work for each family’s needs and lifestyle and try to develop healthy digital habits for their children early on.

Tough to manage

Many parents find that’s easier said than done. Mothers and fathers wonder if they’re being too lenient or too strict and aren’t sure what constitutes a “reasonable limit.” There is also confusion over whether reading on an e-device such as a Kindle should be counted in their child’s daily screen time. Should their kids get “rollover minutes” to the following day if they don’t utilize all their agreed upon quota of screen time today?

Angie Gates, the mother of a fourth grader and a sixth grader who attend Bend public schools, aims for a maximum of one hour of screen time per day for her kids during the school week (and up to two hours during holidays and on weekends), with the understanding that homework, chores, sports and other social activities come first. “Their behavior today determines how much electronic time they’ll get tomorrow,” Gates said. “My husband and I are big on creativity and have always made sure our kids understand that electronics are a privilege and not a right.”

Carol Hopwood, psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker at Lasting Change Counseling in Bend, agrees that talking with your children about your values and where electronics fall in that hierarchy, is important.

“Having productive conversations about these issues and concerns and coming up with a plan together can help avoid making the use of electronics into a constant power struggle,” she said.

Amy Halligan feels fortunate her two children were always very involved in sports and excessive amounts of time engrossed in screens has not been a huge problem, at least for now.

She’s often heard other parents discuss struggling with their kids’ digital usage and admits that when her now 17-year-old son was younger, this was more of a problem at her home too. “We had to revoke his electronic privileges on several occasions during middle school,” she said “and we still have a rule that phones and computers are off at night.”

She estimates her son (a junior at Summit High School in Bend) now spends around two to three hours per day using digital media — primarily texting, playing games and using various apps on his phone.

Technology at every corner

Another source of conflict can be the difficulty in separating use of a computer, phone or tablet for homework versus fun. With local school districts now issuing iPads to students, some parents feel even more limited in their ability to restrict their kids’ use of technology at home.

One frustrated father noted: “My son will be using his iPad to work on a school assignment, and the next thing I know he’s been sucked down an Internet wormhole and is laughing at silly cat memes. Unless I look over his shoulder almost constantly, it’s very difficult to prevent that happening.”

Hopwood says having defined technology blackout times and places can have a positive impact, without being too difficult to implement. “No phones at the dinner table, or no phone and tablet use in the car opens up windows of opportunity for parents and their kids to connect with each other without electronic distractions,” she says.

Hopwood also already uses one of Osborn’s suggestions of keeping electronic gadgets out of the bedroom, or at least having a cutoff time at night for kids.

Hopwood says cookie cutter standards for screen use may not be necessary for everyone. Believe it or not, some kids do self-regulate.

She also believes rather than setting a rigid time limit for family members, it is more important to ensure children (and adults) are using media in a way that is constructive and beneficial, and that they still have time to be creative, use their imaginations and interact in person with friends.

— Reporter: 541-383-0350, khimstreet@bendbulletin.com